Noir Indulgence intimate portrait style by rachel vogeleisen

Anyone Can Learn To Be Confident and feel great in your own shoes

Creative Ways To Feel And Look More Confident

Confidence is a feeling that brings a powerful sense of charisma. A way of life to enjoy to the fullest. What can it bring further to you? On the blog, I discuss ways to feel more confident that will also help you feel more confident in front of the camera.

As a boudoir photographer, the biggest question I get from my clients is: “How I can get confident in front of the camera”? There’s no secret there. Confidence is a magic trick. It’s like open sesame, and all the doors will open. It will not only open doors, but you will become a magnet for other people as they will want what you have, that wonderful feeling that glows all around you! Feeling great in your own skin will also help you to be confident being photographed, even for a boudoir photoshoot!

If I can get confident, so can you. I was the worst shy person out there for years! It was not down to personality, as I felt great in my shoes outside of job situations when there was no pressure to get results. 

Being in a job where I would be compared and judged on results was the worst. How? I felt like a fraud all the time. Am I good enough? What are they thinking of me? Is X…. doing a better job?

This is also what Tara Mohr says in her book Playing Big about women holding back, playing small, by lack of Confidence, too many inner critic voices, and not feeling ready. Is this what’s going on in your mind? I still need to take more education, training, not good enough, too old etc..… 

The crazy thing about that is that I would always apply for the lowest level jobs as I wanted to be perfect for the job, be productive from day one and be the ideal employee, playing it very safe rather than challenging myself! So to realise after two months in the job, I was bored, no wonder!

Instead of feeling confident about my position, this would put me in an even worse situation because I had sold myself on really wanting this job and felt the unease of being discovered as a fraud, already fed up with the job. 

The results were that I never spoke up during meetings and stood out in the office as the wallflower, being ignored for new opportunities and promotions. This would mean changing jobs every two years, going somewhere once I decided I had enough trying to fit in.

Being true to yourself will keep you going.

Instead of waiting to be discovered, I decided to take action. The good thing about going for what you really want to do is to believe in yourself, this incredible push, that whatever happens, you will keep focused on the prize.

How does it change your Confidence? I’m much more proud to say that I am a portrait photographer than X at company Y because I always felt quite ashamed of having a low-key job when meeting people who were CEOs, VP and directors. I don’t anymore because I’m true to myself, and I don’t care if I’m not a CEO, It’s not me!

Fake it until you make

No one can read your mind! Lack of Confidence will come across in your body language and tone of voice. Be attentive to these, even if you’re not confident, pretend to be so, stand tall, and strike a pose as Dr Amy Cuddy recommends in her TED Talk

Our body language definitely affects how others see us! Standing stall might also change your state of mind and boost your Confidence, so next, remember to stand tall, strike a pose, and you will impress!

Choose clothes that say something about

Instead of wearing a uniform, that is not at all YOU, define your style, choose clothes that say something about you and your individuality and let you stand out from the crowd. This is a great way to express yourself and feel unique by exercising your creativity, feeling really special, and wearing clothes you’ve chosen to say something about yourself, not just by convention.

Channel that inner hero

Who do you admire that radiates this sense of Confidence you’re after? Step into Audrey Hepburn’s shoes each time you have doubts, or project your fears. Step into these Audrey’s shoes instead!

I truly believe that Confidence is a skill that can be learned and developed, via

  • Education
  •  Coaching and mentoring
  • Going beyond your fears
  • Talking about it

But it’s also done via being true to yourself and stopping trying to fit in to please. Making choices by following love instead of fear will boost your Confidence and get you more attention and create interest in your story about what makes you different.

Has a lack of Confidence been holding you back? What have you done to tackle it?

Shopping inspiration for your boudoir photoshoot

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